Lip Lines!

March 10, 2010

First, this morning, I smoothed on a little face cream – then a touch of make-up , like I usually do; nothing out of ordinary….until….I  reached for the lipstick….to begin with , a word of advice: never, Never, NEVER use the magnifying side of the mirror. I almost dropped that damned mirror when I saw what was in it – MY LIPS!

Ok – this is ridiculous – I have heard of lines around the eyes (crows feet) eyes around the mouth area (marionette lines…how’s that for term?) but lines on your lips? Your Lips for goodness sakes! It’s not even as though they were simply around the lips – they are actually ON the lips themselves! When did those happen (not to mention I didn’t even realize that they could happen) and what, pray tell, do you call those? Pucker Lines? Kissing Cracks?

Good Lord – I didn’t know what to do first – faint  or drop the mirror (read: throw the mirror to the ground in utter disgust). When did my lips gets old? I have been using plumping, crack filling, collagen building, confidence boosting lip products for the last couple of years to avoid this very thing from happening.  I have always had full fabulous lips my whole life  – they were one of my best assets – and when I would swipe on the red lipstick – look out!  There was no stopping me (what do you mean I need a receipt to return that scarf…look into my red lips – there you go – exchange done!)….well, apparently now there is. Funny, you know,  my first clue should have been that moment last month when a co-worker asked if I had bumped my lip because it was bleeding slightly….NO, My Dear – that would be my lipstick bleeding…all on it’s own – without injury (other than that to my ego)!

Where did those luscious, juicy lips go? And why don’t those bloody crack-filling, lip plumping products do the job – it certainly tingles and stings enough when I put it on. What is it doing if it isn’t “plumping”?

Well, as my girlfriend and hairdresser always tells me – time to go for the hint of color or clear gloss to avoid the migration of color into those new lines…and after all – doesn’t “your hairdresser  know for sure?”

Back up the Vaseline truck boys – I’ve got a set of middle aged lips to prep!


What’s in the Bag?

August 19, 2009

OMG (that’s right – I just learned that little bit of “text talk” and I’m using it). OMG – I opened my lap top this morning and you know how you can see your reflection in the screen? Well I saw my neck. When the hell did I get “crepey”?  I know my mother always said I was a gift, but seriously….I came with my own wrapping? All I need is a bag to put myself in and I’m set to go. Crepey skin!?! I don’t know what’s worse – the way age plays hardball with your body or the fact that you need reading glasses and now you can actually see what’s going on.   So of course, you know what my next step was – I looked down at my hands- poised and ready to write some heart-warming piece – FORGET IT – also crepey – with a touch of dry and ragged….and I do regular manicures! I don’t dare look down at my feet and I thank the good Lord that I had the sense to invest in control-top “foundation garments” (as my mother would say) a few years ago. I wonder what would happen if I spread a tube of Prep H on my bod every morning to shrink the swelling  – then slather myself with retin-lipo-AHA-whatever that plumping stuff is I put on my lips every where else.  Ahhh…. remember the days when you got your period and you bloated? I could use a little of that now,  but on is only my own behind!

You know what? I think I should take off my glasses….life was simpler then.