Sidelined for 3 L-O-N-G weeks by a knee injury has left me with the unexpected gift of thought. Not being able stand for any length of time or walk around  means that other than reading countless magazines, watching every cooking and DIY show (I have quite the list of projects for my poor husband!) and perusing the internet – I have had plenty of time to re-visit memories, examine and re-evaluate relationships . Some people have come so clearly into focus that I wonder how long I’ve been wearing emotional sunglasses…and why have I?

When you get the chance to stop and think without the normal, everyday distractions – you really have to wonder –  how it is possible that you could be seemingly so in charge of your life and yet have regularly wandered around carelessly aimless on your life’s many diverse paths?

There are so many truly wonderful, caring, kind and loving people in your life – people who enrich, inspire and support you and they are the treasures that contribute to and share in making the journey of life the miracle it is. I have been reveling in how fortunate I am to have these beauties in my life.

On the other hand, it becomes disconcertingly  clear just how many “hangers-on” there are in your midst. In some ways they have been hiding in plain sight all along and yet, truth be told, you invited them in…well, that will teach your for buying emotional sunglasses at the dollar store!

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Fairweather Friends

June 4, 2016

FRIEND. Everyone seems to have their own interpretation of that word.

It can mean everything pure and true that your heart can hold – or it can mean the vaguest of air kisses – emptiness at its fullest.

What I have learned is that there is a tremendous responsibility to the word “Friend” – a responsibility that a lot of people are completely incapable of, although they are always the ones who pride themselves on being so supportive. Yet they unwittingly disappoint by neglecting to follow through on all of their words….their empty words…words that they believe are wrapping you up in a warm and comforting invisible hug. Truth is, all they are wrapping you up in, is spiritual plastic wrap.

Then there are the people who surprise you. The people who come out from the tiny, hidden corners in your life that you forgot existed; either quietly on their own or in a warm circle  – and with arms wide open they envelope you, they hold you up and face you forward. What a lovely unexpected gift.

Friend. Someone we should all strive to be every day -somehow …even in the smallest way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wondering Where I Stand

November 13, 2011

The time between having a 4 year old preschooler who hangs onto your hand and your every word and the 18 year old teenager that has no time for you is this cavernous space in time….it never seems like all that long ago to you, the adult.
If I just close my eyes…she’s 3 years old, baking cookies, waiting for Santa to arrive…I am right there, standing beside her.
…She’s 8 years old and getting braces put on for the first time – in any color of her choice…and I stand by her.
…Then she’s 10 years old….in the science fair, making prefect at school …she’s having sleepovers and we’re busy at the kitchen table creating crazy arts and crafts projects…I am there, standing by.
…She’s 12 and starting high school – all the uncertainty and trepidation, but of course … I stand by her – drive her and pick her up – even though I know she is capable of taking the bus….more school projects, new girlfriends….slowly venturing out into the world, broken hearts, broken friendships…she is growing up…quietly, I stand by.
…Then Graduation which leads to college and new friends….new expereinces…new influences…and carefully – very carefully, I choose a place to still stand by.
….at this point all I can offer up is our home, our bar-b-que…our open arms…then she’s 18 – I know that somewhere in the corner of her heart she is ready to fly – but not yet ready…and still I stand by… with my unasked for guidance and support…the only mothering tools that I have left to bestow…and I know that all I can do from now on is to quietly…..stand by.

Baby Shower Excitement

April 24, 2010

I only have a few minutes as I have to go and freeze some babies…plastic ones that is – hey! it’s a shower game!

I’m having a baby shower for my god-daughter this afternoon and even though it is my second shower for her (my 5th baby shower in all, in the last 7 years) I couldn’t be more excited! It just never gets old…a shower – be it baby or bridal.

I think for me (and probably most  of the guests) the idea of gathering together to welcome in a new little life is always heart-warming. It’s not the tiny gifts (as adorable as they may be) or the punch (as delicious as that may be!) it is that ancient, almost tribal feeling of a group of women coming together in support of another woman, who is about to embark on one of life’s greatest adventures. As we sit and chat, munch and sip, play games and laugh – I always feel this invisible hug going around the room. A new citizen of the world is in our presence – or almost! How exciting to usher him or her in – how wonderful to be excited about something so positive. As we grow up and older, there is less and less to be surprised or excited about  (at least in that girlish way) – we’ve done so much already….but a baby – that is always new – even when it isn’t a first baby…that thrill just ignites something within us all – whether we are mothers or not – that doesn’t matter. It’s the coming together as a group of women – suddenly all of us are “sisters” – no matter the ages present.  I can’t wait!!