August 2, 2015
Almost 30 years later …hmm – where’s the romance? I think it’s probably stuffed somewhere in between the unfolded laundry and the moving boxes at my parents’ home.
Sadly, Romance just doesn’t have it’s own place here these days. Generally I am really ok with it – I get it – this is the Phase of Life we’re in right now.
Sometimes, though – I long for those seemingly endless evenings spent on our balcony on Gamble Street where we lived 30 years ago. We imagined so many incredible things on that balcony…but… not everything.
I never really believed that my parents would get older or sick and that I would have to take over, and I am sure that my husband never imagined that either.. We were two young lovers sipping cheap wine by moonlight and deciding where and when to eat – or even if we should 😉 The whole world lay at our feet – at least we thought so, from the 10th floor up.
Here we are 29 years later – three children and aging parents…when did we become middle aged because I swear that we were just…25 ish years old…okay, truthfully a little more little ” ISH” than 25.
We have survived many more years than so many of our friends…and yet we still stand strong – sometimes divided in our thoughts on how to handle things, sometimes annoyed at the little habits we’ve acquired…but we still stand strong.
I still roll over in the night, comforted to feel him sleeping (and snoring!) beside me…and I still walk downstairs every morning, eager to greet the new day with him and share a cup of coffee.
I think that when you are young and starting out and knew what lay ahead – you wouldn’t take another step – not because it is so terrible but because it is so far away from the dreams you are dreaming on your own balcony…your own studio apartment…or whatever your beginning point is..
But let me say this – it is the slow and steady fire that keeps the heart warm…yes, you need to stoke it – but sometimes, when you need to – you can rely on the embers.
February 8, 2015
The guests have all gone but their laughter echoes off the walls in my house – their smiles shine in every mirror. How wonderful it was to spend this blustery winter afternoon in the company of so many women who have shaped my every day.
Almost every year I hold a Valentine Party – ladies only – and it all began because we were young mothers with babies and toddlers and the glow of Valentine’s Day had worn off in our marriages as these babies replaced candlelight dinner and the need (I suppose) and the energy for our husbands to court us. It was a completely normal and understandable change in our lives – but me, the hopeless romantic, wanted to still celebrate Valentine’s Day and so I thought, wouldn’t it be great to celebrate these wonderful women I know with a Valentine Brunch.
And so the Valentine Party was born -” the ladies only” part meant -No Kids!! We dressed up, put lipstick on and tried to wear something in some shade of red or pink. We were only 8 at that first brunch….and then it grew….and it grew…and it grew, as did my incredible circle of friends. This afternoon we were 28 people in my small, but party-friendly house. Champagne and orange juice always starts off the celebration and the main event is the connections we made – we continue to make and the freedom to be the young girls that still live inside each one of us.
I am just now putting my feet up, sipping the last glass of champagne, watching the various Valentine decorations swing back and forth and listening to all that wonderful girlish laughter that my walls are kindly holding onto for me.
November 27, 2013
You want to make a memory ? Well, interestingly enough, we have already shared so many. Some of the moments, I remember – some of the moments, you remember Isn’t it funny how memories work?
Recently someone was recanting a memory of my son, something from about 20 years ago and something that I have absolutely no memory of, but is so burned into their minds, as if it was yesterday. Just a tiny moment, a tiny snippet of time that really has no meaning, other than the fact that it seems to live in their minds so brilliantly. How could I have forgotten that shining moment? Or was it not my moment to remember? Was it not my moment at all…?
A couple of years ago someone I had known in school that happened to be at the same party I was at, told me his impression of me all those years ago. It took my breath away and I started to giggle out of nervousness. He seemed a bit hurt and asked me if I thought it was funny. All I could think was – of course not! It’s just that it never occurred to me that someone would have this fantasy about me – this completely unreachable height that I don’t think I could ever reach. At the very same time I felt empowered and young and thinking that possibly…I just might be able to reach that pre-determined height.
A month ago, I stopped by my parents’ home to see an old friend of theirs who I had always called “Uncle Rod.” He has been a regular guest in our home while I was growing up and the moment that has stuck with me forever – really, to this day – is something simple. He showed me the old magic trick of taking off half of your thumb. I was probably 4 at the time and all I remember is that in that moment – he took my breath away with magic. I recanted the story to him and he seemed so surprised – it had been something so simple…but it is something that I will never forget – because it wasn’t the trick – it was the magic. And I can’t help it – that moment will last until the end of time…that’s what magic does.
My parents recently celebrated 60 years of marriage. They are still so desperately in love – as if they were still the 25 year old bride and groom…and I am sure (having been married for 25 years myself) that there were just as many lows as there were highs. It is a long journey, and I think the secret of their success was that while they always trusted each other 100% – they were always aware of the fabulous value of each other….aware of the moments, both brilliant – and perhaps not so brilliant.
I think we forget to tell the people who matter to us – about the moments that they have given us. They don’t have to be Big Huge Moments…but just magic moments,things that we can’t help but remember forever.
When my husband and I were first dating, we were standing on the balcony of my apartment – the moon was beautiful and full. I gestured the sky and said to him, “look at that man in the moon – he is looking right down on us.” My husband looked confused. He said he had never been able to make out the face of the man in the moon – so I pointed it out to him.
Then I kissed him and told him that I would be with him forever… because no matter what happened in our lives, he would never be able to look at the moon again without seeing that man…..and me.
Tell someone that you care about, some small thing that they brought into your life. Make their moment.