New Car holds me Hostage

February 11, 2017

Snowstorm on it’s way today – so I thought that I’d better run out and get the last few grocery items that I need for my Brunch tomorrow and as I am expecting about 20 people,there’s still a lot to do today.
Off I go and in scant moments I whiz through my grocery store with all 10 items in my basket – even without my list, I remembered everything. Yay! I am on a hot streak!
I pull the hood up on my coat to shield myself from the blowing snow and dash out to my car to load up the trunk. In my haste, I lay my keys down in the trunk (something I NEVER do) while I rearrange the bags and other junk that is in my trunk. Great – done! I slam down the trunk and then I hear it – that fatal click as the car self locks…something that these new cars do after about 30 seconds.
I try the trunk but no luck, still, I hopefully think “no worries’ I had double clicked the key to make sure that both front and backseat doors would be open…they are possibly still unlocked, right? WRONG. Actually WRONG WRONG WRONG!
Are you kidding me?? I have to get home, bake and frost cupcakes, put together a veggie platter and finish decorating the house!

No choice but to go back into the store and call my husband and being a one car family this meant him venturing out into the blowing snow to get on the bus and come and rescue me. Thankfully he only stifled a laugh and wasn’t annoyed – that made me feel better.
So into the grocery store I went to warm up and as I passed the vending machine, thought I’d grab a Coke while I wait.
You know what’s coming next don’t you? I open the can of Coke which promptly explodes and drenches the arm of my coat…sigh…I am starting to feel a tad bag ladyish now…My hair is disheveled and my my sleeve is stained with wet Coke.
However – 20 minutes later – in walked my Prince Charming and within moments we were on our way…although he was giggling and I was not – but I was relieved.

Se what happens when you rush around at the last minute?!

Just before school ended, I took my youngest for her first pedicure to celebrate both summer, and her graduation. We had a great “girls” morning – sitting side by side, working the massage chairs and giggling together. She chose a fabulous teal blue color for her polish and it looked great on her lovely young toes. Then she sat ever so patiently for the next 20 minutes while they had to scrub, buff and take my foot down one size before applying polish, which by the way, was a watermelon shade (oh yeah – I was going wild!). When we got home, I had my husband come out and take a picture of our feet together – toe to toe – while the polish still looked so summery good and shiny. Cute, artsy and a nice memory…..or so I thought.

I decided to make that picture my desktop background – bright and cheerful. As it came up on my computer this morning, I brushed away a tiny piece of debris off the screen…what is that? It wouldn’t come off. I put on my reading glasses (whole other blog!) and brushed it away again …seems a hair was stuck to my screen… the static – I supposed.

W – H -A – T?  That’s no issue of static – old girl – that is a hair on my toe! A hair on my toe? Are you kidding me? When did that thing start growing and why haven’t I noticed it before? And that other rounded edge of my foot – is that a bunion developing? What the-?

Clearly – I need to pay closer attention to my slowly migrating physical youth,  and I think I need to swap out my reading glasses for something a lot more permanent….who knows what else I’ve been missing! Good Lord – I don’t want to end up one of those older ladies who apply lipstick, not only on their lips, but all around it too! Have I been doing it already, I wonder?

ring….ring…Hello Dr. Mark? I’m overdue for that eye exam…..

Joint Symphony

September 22, 2010

Oh for crying out loud! When did Snap, Crackle and Pop stop being a breakfast cereal and start becoming  a way of life?

I’m trying to creep downstairs this morning – not wanting to disturb anyone, because of course –  now that I’m menopausal- I am often up before the birds. So, there I am,  holding onto the banister – not for support, but because it’s still pitch black outside (hey- give me a break – not that old yet!). And there is was – over the sound of the hardwood floors creaking, in my almost-100 year-old house, was the snapping sound of my just-turned- 50 year old ankles, as each foot hit a step. Seriously! The days of me becoming a sleuth or a thief are long past – even though I’ve never looked better in black than I do right now. I’ve always been a bit “creaky” sounding – however that word “creaky” would never have been used on me 10 years ago…. Since I turned 50 a couple of months ago (but hey! I DO still look 40!)  people feel free to use it when they hear me snap, crackle and popping along. Wait till my wrists go – then I’ll be able to audition for a band.

What’s in the Bag?

August 19, 2009

OMG (that’s right – I just learned that little bit of “text talk” and I’m using it). OMG – I opened my lap top this morning and you know how you can see your reflection in the screen? Well I saw my neck. When the hell did I get “crepey”?  I know my mother always said I was a gift, but seriously….I came with my own wrapping? All I need is a bag to put myself in and I’m set to go. Crepey skin!?! I don’t know what’s worse – the way age plays hardball with your body or the fact that you need reading glasses and now you can actually see what’s going on.   So of course, you know what my next step was – I looked down at my hands- poised and ready to write some heart-warming piece – FORGET IT – also crepey – with a touch of dry and ragged….and I do regular manicures! I don’t dare look down at my feet and I thank the good Lord that I had the sense to invest in control-top “foundation garments” (as my mother would say) a few years ago. I wonder what would happen if I spread a tube of Prep H on my bod every morning to shrink the swelling  – then slather myself with retin-lipo-AHA-whatever that plumping stuff is I put on my lips every where else.  Ahhh…. remember the days when you got your period and you bloated? I could use a little of that now,  but on is only my own behind!

You know what? I think I should take off my glasses….life was simpler then.