What’s in the Bag?

August 19, 2009

OMG (that’s right – I just learned that little bit of “text talk” and I’m using it). OMG – I opened my lap top this morning and you know how you can see your reflection in the screen? Well I saw my neck. When the hell did I get “crepey”?  I know my mother always said I was a gift, but seriously….I came with my own wrapping? All I need is a bag to put myself in and I’m set to go. Crepey skin!?! I don’t know what’s worse – the way age plays hardball with your body or the fact that you need reading glasses and now you can actually see what’s going on.   So of course, you know what my next step was – I looked down at my hands- poised and ready to write some heart-warming piece – FORGET IT – also crepey – with a touch of dry and ragged….and I do regular manicures! I don’t dare look down at my feet and I thank the good Lord that I had the sense to invest in control-top “foundation garments” (as my mother would say) a few years ago. I wonder what would happen if I spread a tube of Prep H on my bod every morning to shrink the swelling  – then slather myself with retin-lipo-AHA-whatever that plumping stuff is I put on my lips every where else.  Ahhh…. remember the days when you got your period and you bloated? I could use a little of that now,  but on is only my own behind!

You know what? I think I should take off my glasses….life was simpler then.