Lost and Found…but Mostly Lost

February 24, 2019

As I get older…I feel strangely younger. I seem to remember those days past so clearly.

I hate being older because, inside – deep inside – I still feel 25…ok..maybe 35….

I wonder what happened over the years when I was selflessly, happily giving my young years to my children – making sure they had the most magical childhood that they could carry on into their adult lives.

So here I am..older, wiser..mostly older

But I am still Me inside. The Me, who went to crazy parties, the Me who took chances and dares, the Me who turned heads and was listened to -as in every word, every dream…someone always seemed to care about what I thought.

Now – I have beautiful, successful grown children…I have a lovely 30+ year marriage and yet I go into a room to be alone in mediation and call on the invisible spirits to join me because in some strange way – I too, am invisible.

I guess I never thought that I would end up here – at this place…..it’s not terrible, it really isn’t…..it’s that I feel kind of lost and I am not sure that anyone will every really bother to look to find me.

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