Chains

May 20, 2017

Looking in the mirror, I gave myself the “once over” before dinner guests arrived. My hairdresser had given me a cute blow-out and style (which instantly took 10 years off – thank you Shauna!)and I slipped on a funky – yes,I said it – FUNKY new top and i even took the time to swipe on some of that red lipstick that I’m famous for. Not Bad! I thought. I looked pretty cute and very pulled together. After putting in the unique bohemian style earrings that my son had given me for Mother’s Day last year, I stood backed. The delicate chains around my neck looked good too -simple and classic – not only a great “finishing touch” but they didn’t compete with the glitzy top I was wearing.The I paused to think of minute….

Wait a minute here – I don’t have any plain chain necklaces – all of mine have a charm of sorts at the end.

OM fricking G!!

I grabbed my reading glassed and slipped them on to confirm. Those were not pretty gold chains…those were neck bands….”chains” left by years of living – that’s right – WRINKLES!!
Apparently, I now have wrinkle bands around my neck…W-H-A-T? Are you kidding me?!! My next panicky thought was – Why, oh why did I wait until almost age 50 to start creaming my neck…my European Grandmother, in her heavy Hungarian accent, had regularly warned me from the time I was about 12 years old to Cream your neck – that’s where a woman’s age truly begins to show.
And by the way – never mind the damned neck lines – the fact that I needed to put on my reading glassed to see them…?
Oh Dr. Mark (optometrist extraordinaire) – when I call you tomorrow, you’d better squeeze me in for an appointment!
Meanwhile dear Readers – please forgive any typos I may have made in this freaked out emotional blog – my hands are greasy from the pint of cream I just slathered on.
Can this situation be saved or am I doomed to wear scarves and pose for pictures with my head head at awkward angle?
Funny thing is – none of this ever occurred to me because without a doubt, I so certainly feel in my mid-thirties and not one day over that.
Strangely funny, because my neck chains beg to differ!

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