Moving out

August 19, 2014

I walked by your room last night on one of my several midnight wakings and the door was wide open with a single chair in the center of the room, along with a few odds and ends, yet unpacked and scattered across the room. I stood in the doorway for a moment, in the darkness and saw you, not there, sitting on your bed doing your homework.  

Last night you moved out. 

It was time – you are almost 24 and your decision was made with a cool and logical head, not in defiance, as my own move out had been. You need to be closer to school and are ready to be on your own – and truth be told, I am bursting with excitement and happiness for you. You found the perfect place for yourself, for right now, and I am so thankful that you have let your Dad and I be an active part of the whole process. 

It’s been a slow “move in” – taking things over in small loads every other day for the last couple of weeks, but last night we took your clothes and your bed – the final item. As we drive downtown with the mattress strapped down to the car, we passed all the usual places, but last night they jumped out at me….the parks we played in, the donut shop that you and I would go to once a week before going grocery shopping, the restaurants that we used to frequent as a young family, Dairy Queen…I thought about all the times I had to make emergency drop offs (often driving in my pyjamas and a coat) to school or the subway station because you had slept in or because the unreliable bus that is at the corner of our street simply never showed up.

I know you aren’t moving across the country and are only downtown…but you aren’t here everyday, anymore, and our family will be forever changed for it – and necessarily for the worst – just changed.

I couldn’t sleep last night – I kept listening for your footsteps on the front porch….the fridge door being opened several times….the sound of the TV left on because you’ve fallen asleep on the couch …again! 

It was all quiet…so very quiet.

I don’t feel sad….because I have been preparing for this day ever since you were 6 weeks old – no kidding! I knew then – I had foresight, as I have had on many other occasions….but I will say that it is most bittersweet…..truly bittersweet. I now really understand what that word means – I feel every letter it.


One Response to “Moving out”

  1. Barbara Says:

    Loved this Connie! And now one little bird has left the nest…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: