Foundation Garments

January 11, 2014

Yes,you read that right, and if you are of the appropriate age you will know what that means . If you are young…read up now, girlies – because no matter how much you are working out know…Foundation Garments will become your future meme and mantra.

I first hear the term Foundation Garment from my mother – just after I had given birth to my third child at the age of 40. “Oh Honey, a Foundation Garment will really make a difference.”  (Say what?!). She took me into her bedroom and opened up her lingerie drawer and pulled out a pair of what looked like bicycle shorts. “You put these on and – BAM! 10 pounds slimmer – all the bumps are encased.” I balked at first, thinking; Seriously Mom? Gee thanks! But now, I must admit – those Spanxy things have been a fashion lifesaver. First of all – you can tuck your tummy into them, contain your thighs and just generally smooth things over…every middle-aged woman’s dream, right? Well – except for you Heavenly Blessed Willows.

So I had my first adventure when I had my first post-baby dressy occasion. I treated myself to a pair of “Uplift Pantyhose.”  A control top panty that flattened your tummy and uplifted your butt (hence the name) and a gentle “support” leg. I manoeuvred them on under a pair of slim fitting pants, looked in the  full length mirror and thought; Hey – not bad! Mom was right. However, I had to admit that they felt a bit odd and something didn’t seem quite right – but I was running late (running late? Really? With three small children – imagine!).

So off my hubby and I went, and I felt good. After all, I was wearing lipstick and heels for goodness sake – who wouldn’t feel good? There I was, mingling at this party; you get the picture – right? Chatting, laughing, tossing my hair back while balancing a glass of wine. Something felt a bit off though , but I ignored it…I was at a party, being a grown-up…I was mingling! 

After the evening was done, we came home and I kicked those heels off (ouch!) and went upstairs to get ready for bed. As I undressed and slid my pair of Uplift hose off , I noticed the label. Strangely, it was in the front – and then it hit me. That “odd” feeling was due to the fact that I was wearing the damned pair of hose backwards! That’s right, ladies…I had been flattening my butt and “uplifting” my post-baby belly…all night long!



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