Ditsy Homemaker!

July 24, 2013

Generally, I am known to be a bright, intelligent and sometimes even sage, woman with a wild and crazy creative streak and a pretty good sense of humor…or so I’ve been told. I manage my demanding job with aplomb and  juggle my growing family’s needs with the needs of  my aging parents. I am responsible and organized in life with the exception of  household duties. This is where my family knows another side of me…I am  quite occasionally known as the Ditsy Homemaker.

Take this morning for example; I decide that since I am up super early I will make the coffee for my hubby. I take out the old filter from yesterday morning and see that once again it really needs a cleaning. It’s a white coffee maker (well, ok , it’s kind  of a beige one now) that my Mom gave us for free,  and while it’s a pretty good one, wow-oh-wow – does it ever shows the dirt/stains of past coffees. So for whatever insane reason that pops into my head at 5:15 am, I decide I that am going to clean it. Now the first thing you have to understand about me is that I am a half-assed homemaker. In other words – I dust and sweep what I can see (why lift everything  up?) and I love to clean house by walking around with a big box and dumping the items that don’t belong in certain rooms, into said box and then send it to the basement where I believe it it eaten by gremlins…or so I hope! So my house usually looks pretty good – minus it’s usual amount of clutter – which I call “Living” (we are a family of five after all). The house is clean for goodness sake – just not completely spotless…but to be honest, I always feel that all this house cleaning is kind of a waste of time (within reason) because it will all be waiting for me again tomorrow, as my late grandmother would say. Honestly, I’d rather be spending my time with my kids, cooking/baking, writing or doing artwork – but that’s just me …and my grandma.

Back to the coffee maker. I wipe it out well with several paper towels and one powerful J-cloth and it is almost gleaming! I’m pleased and proud. I then make the morning coffee, for which I have to grind some beans (come on – have to have some fancy pleasures in life!).  As I put the coffee into the filter I am patting myself on the back so hard I am practically coughing…it looks soooo white! Good job, you Happy Little Homemaker!

I reach for the J-cloth again because now I am motivated to wipe down our overhead lamp that hangs over  the kitchen table, something I like to do every, well – I don’t know, whenever  I notice it needs it…. finally. Come on all you Gals out there – I know you can relate (neat freaks aside – whom, BTW – I admire greatly).  I’m on an early morning roll!  Ok – so maybe the dust from the light fixture has fallen onto the table (gross) and now I have to wipe the table clean…but hey – at least I left the light off this time – so no exploding light bulb. How many times have I done that? Seriously, I should really clean house with safety glasses on.

The deed is done – Woot woot! I am coming along nicely. Look out Martha -I am slowly treading into your territory! Tossing the J-cloth back to the sink,I suddenly notice a black thing sitting on the sink counter. OMG – it is the filter holder for the coffee maker. NO WONDER it had looked so dammed gleaming white!!! I look at the pot of coffee that is mid way done (I thought it had brewed a tad fast). Yup! The pot is just swirling full of coffee grounds….I forgot to put the white paper filter back inside of the black plastic filter. Now I have to clean it out all over again and remake the coffee  (which, by the way, involves re-grinding  some beans and hoping that the kids don’t wake up)… AND I have to get that dripping paper filter, full of half-brewed coffee, over to the sink and garbage without dropping it all over my newly laid hardwood kitchen floors…creating yet another major cleaning project. I did it, but some interesting Cirque-de-Soliel gymnastics were involved, of course. Would you expect anything less?

It’s obviously too early to be attempting all of this nonsense and I do  believe that I should have had a coffee first , before getting into the cleaning spirit. Just another crazy morning around here…no – clearly just another Sassy moment!


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