Michael’s Umbrella

June 13, 2013

You’ve heard of The Walking Dead? Well, I’m talking Walking Storm.It has been raining here for – oh. I don’t know…40 days and 40 nights (can you tell I’m not a fan of rain?). Yeah, yeah, yeah – I know we need rain for our gardens to grow – blah blah blah…but every single WEEKEND!?

Anyway, a couple of days ago it was raining; no – POURING…I mean – it was pouring down so hard that it looked like it was raining from the ground up too. Guess who had to go out on her lunch hour? Gas tank light was on, no money – so had to deposit a check – plus do an errand in between. Of course I don’t have an umbrella because child #3 has taken it to school and all the others are broken (why are we keeping them, again?). My friend and co-worker graciously offers me her husband’s impressive and quite glorious umbrella. It’s huge – like one of those gold umbrellas. Looks like a $100 umbrella – in fact I am almost thinking that the silver button on the wood , perhaps mahogany, handle might indeed be silver. Still, caution to the wind (which comes into play later) I borrow it. Don’t worry – nothing happened to it – but me? Well here we go.

I tun to the car – feverishly close the umbrella and toss it into the car – then panic..OH MY GOD!!! Did I just break it by tossing it onto the passenger seat of my car?! Clearly the rain, not in Spain is creating havoc on my brain…..paranoia is setting in already.

Next, I am walking to the bank. Suddenly, gusts of wind blew up, so I immediately closed the umbrella, snagging several locks of my hair in the process (now, I have pin straight hair so therefore, “locks” is an inappropriate term for the clump, now imprisoned in one of the spokes of said umbrella). Oh – and did I mention that they were gusts of wind?  So, I was now being dragged along the sidewalk by this majestic umbrella, my heels digging into the edges of lawns as I tried to regain some sort of composure. No way was I going to return this umbrella even slightly bruised. Needless to say, this scene was played out a few times before my lunch hour was over.

I got back to work, breathless, exhausted and soaking wet. The umbrella, however – was in perfect condition.

I need to go to the Dollar Store…….

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