Staying in Touch

May 24, 2012

I was out for dinner the other night with one of my oldest and dearest friends. We sat at a cozy table for two by a window, sipping a perfectly chilled glass of wine and caught up on each others’ lives. As close as we are (both in life and proximity) we don’t see each other every day…or even every week, for that matter – nor do we call that often. Yet we somehow always manage to stay in touch – to check in on each other…and it goes without saying that we are “there” for each other – at the drop of a hat!

One of the topics that we re-visited was People who don’t stay in touch. This has always been a sore spot for both of us…one of those things that we just can’t wrap our head around. We both know friends/family members who don’t stay in touch….you can be as close as can be, sharing so many wonderful moments on a regular basis and then, either they move or something comes along in life that interrupts the relationship and suddenly, you are incommunicado…Helllloooo out there…e-mails and letters remain un-returned (not bounced back- there’s a difference) and phone calls too. You keep trying and trying but after a while you just have to stop…at some point you go from feeling like an integral part of someone’s life to somehow being invisible. My friend and I have tossed around the “whys” of this for years and suddenly, last night – we both kind of hit on it…the reason was so simple…some people are not the Staying in Touch kind of people….Perhaps all along they were just the People for Right Now.…not the friends/family relationships that last a lifetime. I think the hard part for both of us is the swift and blunt “cut” – the silence on the other end where there had been so much laughter and joy before.There has never been any “break-up” in any of these relationships, no arguments or leaving on bad terms…just a silent cut. So we concluded that we were simply in another group – the Staying in Touch group, and we always would be…and we decided that the only thing to do was to take our hearts out of these other relationships because our hearts were the only ones floating around out there anymore…it  just took us this long to realize it. We’ll never really understand it – but then, it’s always hard to see a perspective that is so different from your own….and although it feels wrong, it really isn’t…it’s just different that’s all.

So we clinked out glasses and smiled at each other…at least we are both still in the same game….and I’m grateful for that.

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