Shadows of Me

January 20, 2012

Why is that I am never truly O.K.? Trying to talk to my oldest daughter about her plans regarding a future career was met with a cool disconnect over dinner tonight, and it made me sad. Sad because I remember the little girl who loved spending time with me, who thought I was the smartest, funniest, best person to be with me. Oh look, I get it – she’s not 4 years old anymore…I really do get that. What I don’t get is why my genuine, gentle interest is always met with defence? Maybe I just don’t remember what it was like to be teenager as well as I thought I did…

Then my husband begins to share a thought with me – but because my eyes are a bit sad at the moment – he abruptly stops and says he’ll talk to me later (read: when you’re more open to listening to me). Why is it that I must be the happy and open wife, the invisible yet completely supportive mother…and not just me – me feeling a bit blue for a few minutes, me feeling a bit too tired to read a bedtime story, me feeling…well – just feeling?


One Response to “Shadows of Me”

  1. Ann Says:

    all mothers of teenage daughters know exactly what you mean. It’s like a curtain comes down and they are in another world where mother becomes a complete stranger who “doesn’t understand me”. But you know your daughter and one day she will be back to the daughter you remember so fondly. As the famous saying goes “it is a stage she’s going through” – every parent holds on to that!
    As for husbands, you are so lucky to have one that can read you – even if he turns off, and maybe be on a small part for selfish reasons, but he does open up to you which so many husbands don’t.

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