Lost and Found

January 15, 2012

About a million years ago I met a man – a man who swept my borderline young adult self away. He was a whole seven years older and seemingly worldly with his dark aviator shades and quiet manner. He had dreams and suggestions on how life was meant to be lived and it all seemed so wise. Blindly enamoured, I followed along. What I didn’t realize was that he was walking along the edge of a slippery slope – no guard rails – because that’s how he liked it. By now I was too far away from home to make supported decisions and felt as though I had no choice but to take his hand so that I didn’t fall or get left behind. His family was the kind of family that everyone wants to be a part of – like an elusive club that you desperately want to get into  – and lucky me, it was one of the perks of the relationship…but while membership had its privileges – it couldn’t protect me from what was to come. Excitement, and a lavish lifestyle that could not be kept up, gave way to deceit, betrayal and a broken heart that left me limping along for two years. I remember finally going home and sitting in a chair by the window listening to sad songs and wondering how it had all happened….what had happened?

Then magically – my Prince Charming appeared – just as my mother promised he would. He not only swept me off my feet – he captured my heart, but it was different this time – more simple, straightforward and dusted with the glitter of true love. This time there were guard rails….his arms…his honesty…his committment…his love. We made an incredible life together, riding the waves of difficult times and basking on the beaches of pure joy…and we still are, more than twenty-five years later.

Every once in a while a song will grab me and send me back to that other time – and for years the anger and hurt would crash over me like a tidal wave…but in the last few years I’ve been able to hear that wave approaching and have learned to step back onto the dry sand where it can’t touch me – and while I haven’t forgotten the pain – I have forgiven …because, in my wise older years, I see that it was less a case of  being monster and more a case of being  lost.

Happily…I have been found.

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One Response to “Lost and Found”

  1. Nicole Keefler Says:

    Lovely


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