Mean Girls

January 18, 2011

Remember the Mean Girls in school? The ones who cruelly picked on people for small and superficial things? Well – yesterday it was once again confirmed to me that they remain Mean Girls – right through adulthood.

I was at a meeting/workshop yesterday for work – we have been implementing a new program and this meeting was to answer questions and help clarify any “blurry” issues. Mean Girl was facilitating

Now the last time we had this workshop was over 2 years ago. At that meeting, Mean Girl had also been the facilitator, and she told us all “Please – ask lots of questions – challenge me – it’s the only way you’ll really learn about this program.” Foolishly – I took her at her word  and I asked questions – lots of questions – and when I wasn’t sure – I challenged and asked for clarification….the result? She was pissed! She singled me out and rather than rise up to meet the challenging question – belittled me, disrespectfully in front of my peers. She then tried to do the same to a couple of other people – well that Taurean bull rose up in me  and of course, I came to their defense (how dare she?). You do not teach anyone, anything by humiliating them in a group – other and the fact that you yourself lack confidence – and therefore feel the only way to show that you actually know your stuff is to make everyone else feel small. Apparently – many of us went back to our Directors and complained and this gal received a reprimand. Well, apparently is was only a tap on the hand because, yesterday – there she was – in all her glory, unchanged and obviously having learned nothing herself. I knew I was in trouble when she remembered my name! So at this workshop I vowed to keep my mouth shut…so shut that I had dry mouth and had to sip water. But there was a moment where she gave an example to a question someone had – it was contradictory to what she was “teaching” and so I raised my hand to question it because I honestly needed the clarification – I genuinely did not understand. She fires back with a snide remark that was meant to belittle me. I wave my hand and say it’s ok – never mind, because I noticed that her tongue was forked as it was lashing out at me. She continues in a condescending tone, drawing her comment out just a tad for the drama; “Ohhhh – I see…. now you don’t want to discuss it?” That’s it – I can’t just sit there and take it – so, horns down (politely, I might add) I stand up for myself and shoot back “No – it’s not that, I just don’t want to be made to look stupid here.” A blank look comes over her face (or maybe she was fuming – kinda hard to tell) and she passes over both my comment and the question. I glance around the room – my peers have the “gulp” look – like they’re holding their collective breath.I let it go – zip my lip back up and listen.

Half an hour later, meeting is over. I leave with two of my co-workers as we had car-pooled. I am saying nothing about it. The moment we get outside of the building – the two of them explode with “Wow! does she ever have it in for you!!!” Thank you for the confirmation that I am not being conceited, thinking that there had indeed been some (unjust) focus on me.

So…all this to say – Mean Girls in school remain Mean Girls in life – and given the chance will take down anyone who reminds them that they are so very small inside. This is an issue that occurred back when they were little girls  – little girls who just couldn’t seem to cut it with someone whose thoughts and opinions mattered to them. So, as annoyed and offended as I was to be used as her public punching bag I  also had to feel sorry for her…imagine not progressing since high school?

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2 Responses to “Mean Girls”

  1. Jellyfish Says:

    jellyfish

    I have noticed that the “cool clique” girls also sadly seem to last to adulthood, and momhood, and only welcome in other people that they seem to sense were cool clique.
    So strange how some people never change, and good for you for standing up and saying something before she could go on belittling you in the meeting!

  2. Cara Says:

    Cara

    This is so true! I see it more and more with many of these mean girls from highschool surfacing on Facebook. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt if they request to be friends, but if they show their fangs at any point I remove them! I guess by doing this I’m also considered a mean girl, eh?


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