Love and Loss – ebb and flow

May 28, 2010

While I was driving to work yesterday morning, I was thinking about the mother in my pre-school whom I would be seeing that day at drop off – and the letter I had written to her the night before that was tucked in my bag to give her.

This wonderful mother, at 5 months pregnant, had lost her baby to severe medical results. I didn’t see her all last week – but this week she was in bright and early as usual to drop off her son….and I saw her stoic face – the soft smile – the vacant stare….and I was her, all over again. I had lost my baby at the same point in pregnancy 11 years ago (read my blog Grief), As much as I wanted to fold her into my arms and cradle her like a child, I knew I had to hold back – she is very private woman, and I respect that. But for me – the memories of that terrible time came flooding back.

Then something occurred to me….in this life – if you live it right – if you love right, Love  is a series of loving and losing. You fall in love as a teen and then that ends, and that is crushing – until you love again and are uplifted. You love your parents, or an aunt or a grandparent and Life comes along and says “time to go”  and you lose again. You have babies…sweet pink needy souls who can’t bear to leave your side and with whom you spend every waking moment learning about the world and sharing magic together and then…they grow up, only to eventually spread their wings and take off….once again you are on the losing side.

This goes for friendships – or even careers….we love – we fall hard and deep and living in that whirlwind glow of a world and then, at some point it comes to an end – sometimes sooner rather than later – and the time that the loss occurs is never a good time, when you love.

As sad as it is to lose someone you love – it’s one of those hard facts of life…and often it feels like “the end” when it happens. But if you are loving true and right, it isn’t – it’s the simple ebb and flow of love.

Love comes up out of nowhere, and washes up on your heart for a while like the tide ….. then, after a time, it  fades away to wherever it came from – leaving a mark on the sand – leaving a mark on your heart – leaving you with a well-used and well-worn heart that in the end…. loved.


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