Band-Aid for Band Days

February 28, 2010

I came across an old photo album filled with pictures when I was part of a band  and with the turn of every page, memories I thought I had forgotten, flooded back. It was almost overwhelming and I found myself not only smiling but giggling out loud. It was only one year in my life but – what a year. I was the Road Manager/Den Mother for a group of 5 guys. They were a creative rock band blending pop and their own music – complete with costume changes. It was the 80’s – so that means some spandex (the early version of stretch jeans!) and big hair. It meant rock and pop – flash pots and bright lights – we were hot…we thought we were hot – I thought we were hot. I had always wanted to be part of a band but could never manage to bring myself to put people together – even though my whole life I had the resources. I don’t think I had what it took to be on stage – but put me backstage – put me in charge of the details and I shone. This had always been one of my life’s dreams and in a strange, unpredictable way – it happened…I asked for it. I sold it and, well…I agreed to work for nothing – just expenses. To me the price was worth the chance to live my dream.

I arranged interviews with local papers and radio stations (radio had been my background), I listened, dispensed advice (whether they asked me or not), helped keep them on the straight and narrow and tried to smooth out any wrinkles that flared up along the way as we crossed the country. Maybe the biggest thing I did was that I fell in love – fell in love with each and every one of them -not romantically but in a much deeper way. A mother, a best friend, a sister? I don’t know -what I do know is that I never believed so hard in anyone as I did those boys – I believed in the music – more importantly I believed in their dream…even though in my heart I knew that I would have no place in it in the years ahead – not really. I think I always knew that I was meant to go on and do other things, although back then I’m sure that was not an idea I wanted to face. I love my job – I loved my every day. I was a support system that the universe sent to them at that time in their lives and they were my saving grace- coming together with them was literally being thrown a line at a time when my heart had been sinking and I thought I might never break through to the surface again….then – there they were – my shining boys.

And I learned the most about love in that year – love has absolutely nothing to do with romance – romance is like the icing on a cake but without the sugar, flour and ingredients you have nothing to smear that romance on….and if you scrape off the icing there had better be a cake underneath it all.  I rebuilt my cake that year. And the wonderful life that I have now with the man of my dreams and the precious family I adore and live for is, in part, thanks to that year and the ways I grew inside – unknowingly at the time. God works in mysterious ways.

I don’t know if the boys in the band have the same warm memories that I do  – but I suppose in the end it really doesn’t matter – the year was for me, I think…and yet I sit here today, still at the ready should they call me -should they need me. You can’t live 7 days a week with people – spend 24 hours a day, suffer lows and rejoice in highs and not have a thread left between you….and I cherish my golden thread…..

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