A Tiny Moment

For some strange, odd reason – I was remembering someone tonight. Someone that I really didn’t know at all, someone who has since left this earth – someone who was famous but without any pretension ..someone that I had the odd fortune to cross paths with and meet. We were at the same music industry conference – about a zillion years ago (ok – maybe 20) and for some inexplicable reason we were introduced. I wasn’t Anybody and he wasn’t being Somebody  -  other than himself.

Paths crossed  - and all I can tell you is that, in the short time that we chatted, this man blocked out all others and refused all interruption as we talked – as he listened.. I think it was probably at a time that I really needed to be heard. The respect that this man showed me is still so fresh to me today. That moment reminds me that giving someone just 10 minutes of your undivided attention and respect can last a lifetime…and it doesn’t matter who you are.

Everyone’s Waiting

Have you ever heard a song and thought; Hey, those are MY words – I was going to write that! That’s exactly the way I feel!

Well, every time that happens to me it’s just a reminder of how connected we all are and how similar we truly are. Just when you think you are alone in your thoughts and feelings – it turns out that you’re not. There is someone else writing those feelings, singing those feeling and, I suppose, buying those feelings too because let’s face it, unfortunately sharing is not always free.

I’m listening to Missy Higgins sing Everyone’s Waiting….and I think to myself…how many of us feel this way everyday. True, most of us are not hopping up on a stage somewhere about to perform a show for a roaring crowd of people. Then again, our stages are in our kitchens, where we are standing aimlessly in the centre of it with a spatula in hand, wondering what we are going to create tonight – and  how far can we make it go…or in the driver’s seat of the car as we chauffeur some child to some activity or maybe to school…or  in a hospital room trying to make our elderly parent’s needs known to a stranger in a white lab coat,  who is standing on their own tiny stage – in their own daily show.

At some point,  in the middle of the daily swirl of commitments, I think most of us have those brief moments of silence where we are screaming in our heads….when is it my turn? Or simply; turn down the noise – I can’t think/dream/create. 

Sometimes life gets so busy… too busy, and we forget to breathe, because, guess what? Everyone’s Waiting.

It’s 5am – Do you know where your parents are?

Why is it, that I am now getting up for the day – when I used to be just going to bed for the night? Remember staying up half the night, out with friends or being  up watching movies or simply talking with friends? Now, I’m happy if I can make it through a whole episode of CSI. Either I am nodding off or I’m gently being lulled to sleep by the sound of my husband nodding off. What happened to us? Karma – that’s what. Never mind middle age. I say it’s Karma. One weekend (while still in our adorable twenties) my husband and went home to visit his parents – after dinner and the (early) evening news, there they sat on the couch – the two of them with their heads back and mouths half-open – out cold, asleep.

We giggled – heck, we snorted and laughed out loud and then did something terrible…something absolutely shameful. We took their picture. Ha ha ha -Lol, all that stuff. How funny that it was only 8pm and they couldn’t stay awake – I can almost feel my sides still aching from it…only now, my sides are aching because I fell asleep in an awkward position – on the couch! The worst part of that memory is  the realization that at that time – at that very moment – they were a few years younger than we are now. Oh, Mom and Dad…forgive us!

So, at my last medical appointment (of which there seem to be increasingly more), I complained to my doctor about this early waking thing and do you know what this lovely, bright young gal said to me? “As we age – we need less sleep.” Really? Great. Lots of comfort. The thing is, I would feel a lot better about that if we weren’t so darn tired,  so darned early. I mean, if we were becoming night owls, that would be great because there is so much more that you can do into the wee hours of the night, without disturbing your household (with young adults in it – who are also up). But at 5am,  I find myself tip-toeing around like a freaking ballerina; grinding the beans for my coffee in the basement so as not to wake anyone up and frantically hitting the mute button on my computer – because you know how that techno “boing” sound can wake a zombie (ok – have I just dated myself saying techno? and do zombies even sleep?). It’s already bad enough that my joints snap and crack so loud  that it almost sounds as if they are applauding the fact that I managed to make it down the stairs.

Well, I guess for now I can at least take comfort in the fact that I feel inspired enough to write, this early in the morning…and as I wait for (at least half of) my family to wake up, I will entertain the thought of making another cup of coffee – with four dish towels thrown over top of the machine to keep it quiet.

Mean Girls – II

We’ve all been there – either on the giving or the receiving end, and I want to go on record and say that I find it all exhausting. What is it with the female persona? We are specifically known and revered for our nurturing qualities and yet there is a strain of us who are constantly going for the jugular. I mean, it’s no wonder that the Twilight series has done so well –  vampires go for unsuspecting peoples’ throats in order to sustain themselves – right? Hmm…sounds strangely familiar.

I don’t like girls. That being said – I have some incredible, wonderful, loving and supportive friends who make my life a pleasure  - who share in my joys and my sorrows (and sometimes even leave me treats for my kids and dinner for my family on days when I am overwhelmed- you know who you are!) and I also have two amazing daughters who just don’t play that game. They never did. I’m not saying they are perfect – they just never played this game. They treat people as people -liking some for their positive qualities and avoiding those who are negative influences – end of discussion. I also have a son who, at the tender age of 8, noticed this bizarre, mean girl behavior and I remember him coming home from school one day, talking to me about two girls in his class saying, “I don’t get it, Mom – one minute they are friends and the next minute they are fighting and hate each other – that’s crazy!” You said it, my friend.

With boys and men it’s all about Size (yes, size only matters to men), Brains and Success. But as long as you can squeeze into one of those categories (and let’s face it, one way or another – you can) you are ok. With girls – the species of girl I am speaking of, it is about how you look – thin or not thin – your clothes, your hair and make-up….or sometimes, it’s just nothing, i.e.: your tone of voice, your mood (God forbid you’re having an off day!). It’s about not conforming to their skewed view of what a girl/woman should be….and skewed is the right word because to any honest, good soul – people are people – sure some are kinda kooky and offbeat but they are still, at the source -basically good souls – something this strain of girl/woman doesn’t see…but then again – I just used the word “soul” (hello vampires).

Now understand, I am most certainly not perfect. Have I ever engaged in gossip (ashamedly, yes)? Has a judgmental thought about someone’s appearance ever crossed my mind (again, once in awhile -yes, ashamedly)?  But I have not truly judged or treated anyone differently or cruelly (at least I don’t think I have!!!).

Oh – and on the appearance thing – can I just say that (particularly when in dating mode) no one ever looks across the room at a stranger and says – “wow great personality – super creative/inspiring soul.” It’s more like “nice eyes/ cool outfit – or in the appropriate moment –  ”nice butt”…just sayin’.

Anyway – there’s been a situation or two recently that inspired me to rant about this – and for further ranting – please refer to my previous piece on this, titled: Mean Girls…y’all will know what I’m talking about

Teachers are the Modern-Day Saints of the World

Leaving out the religious aspects of the dictionary’s meaning…..teachers truly are the saints of the modern-day world. My children have had some amazing teachers – people who helped open up the world to them in areas where I was limited (hey, you can’t know it all!). They have partnered with my husband and I in directing the flow of my kids’ natural talents and interests, and have lit fires both beneath them and within them. Think about it. GOOD teachers (people who live and breathe their profession, not the ones who thought; “oh that’ll be a cool job – summers off!”) are the very foundation of our future – they are busy guiding (I prefer that term over “molding”) our younger generation, the world’s future. Readin’,'Ritin’ and ‘Rithmitic aside – they are spending the day guiding our children through subjects, doing  their best to infuse them with a genuine thirst for knowledge…something that I believe all children possess from the time they are small – but this thirst somehow this dries up between “don’t bother me with that now, I’m making dinner (I’ve been guilty of that one from time to time!) and a click of the T.V. remote.

I know this for a fact because I am a teacher – at the preschool/daycare level – but a teacher nonetheless. Although I have three children of my own (two in university, one in high school) who are the loves of my life – the wee ones that I spend my day with are also my treasures. While I can most certainly separate from my job as I walk out the door each day, I can’t deny that “my” children aren’t on my mind. I am thinking and planning what I hope will be exciting activities and as I do my regular shopping, things catch my eye and I think “ooooh – so and so would LOVE that! How can I incorporate it into an activity?” At this level of teaching – I, too, am always learning. Those kids constantly have something new for me, for they are on the cusp of discovery, intuition and observation – and they always share some new way to open my eyes.

….and I laugh – my goodness but I laugh…every single day.

At this stage in the game I am not teaching subjects – I am teaching, or rather guiding, social behavior - helping them to figure out how to work out situations and get along – something that a lot of adults have trouble with! I try my best to support their parents’ lessons and the good intentions from their homes and from time to time,  maybe even embellish with a few of my own (I am a veteran parent after all!). I think for me, at this stage in the educational game, it is mostly about Magic. I am a big believer that childhood should be about magic and wonder. Sometimes it comes in the form of their own discoveries…sometimes it comes in the form of my creativity and  imagination – which I gladly share. The best part? That’s when I get all caught up in the magic with them and suddenly I get permission to be 4 years old again too…..how lucky am I that I get to spend my days playing a part  in their  make-believe, or cutting out moons and stars… or simply rediscovering the wonder of seeing green shoots burst through the soil of something we’ve planted? Pretty much anything found on the ground is a newly discovered treasure, everything and everyone is beautiful and everyday, love is given so genuinely.

There is nothing more heart-warming than when I walk to my car at the end of my day and the kids are outside playing in the yard and one of them will yell out to me – “Goodbye! See you tomorrow! I love you!”

That’s what it’s all about.

Spring is in the air – just not in my garden yet!

What is it about Easter weekend that brings out the “spring” in people? Oh ….right ….we’re Canadian. So anytime that the thermometer pops up above zero -we get all tingly and excited.

Actually, there is some truth in that. After enjoying winter (as best we can when we aren’t skiers). The day that the sun decides to shine warm and the temp rises enough for you to leave the top button on your coat open…well, I don’t know about you, but I immediately start thinking “flowers.”  Now truth be told, I’m not much of a gardener – I basically throw all kinds of seeds around and I plant lots of pretty and interesting plants,  but all I’m really doing is hoping for the best -and happily, I generally end up being pretty lucky. I don’t weed too often (or at all – sorry gardeners, I know you’re gasping out there) and leave the watering to my hubby and yet still, things grow. In fact that’s my philosophy; how would it grow in nature without someone to tend it? It would just grow….or it wouldn’t.

At any rate, spring is most definitely in the air this Easter weekend. The sun is so bright and warm, and most importantly perhaps, the ground is bare! So we are all walking around in (insert small squeal of joy) SHOES!

Some overly exuberant people are actually attempting to sport shorts….which I feel is both ridiculous and well,come on – let’s face it –  ridiculous.

I, on the other hand, am obsessed with buying flowers – all kinds of spring flowers. While I am not actually making all of these purchases, I am stopping at every little shop that has flowering plants in front. I think we all miss the color and the scent of an easier, friendlier season. Yesterday, I was overcome by the heady scent of a purple hyacinth and picked one up for my home – to offset the smell of dog, I told myself.

I see it sitting on my coffee table when I come into the house and although there is still the tiniest kiss of winter in the spring breeze – it smells like spring and it looks like spring and I feel both happy and reborn…so many possibilities await!

You’re HOW old?

What happened to my old clothes and why don’t they fit anymore? Two years ago I lost 35 lbs and as I happily leapt off the scale the day I reached my goal, and attempted to dive into my old jeans – Bam! Fail. W-h-a-t?? I used to wear those jeans all the time when I was 30 – and I weigh less now than I did when I was 30. What happened? And those two favorite, f-a-v-o-r-i-t-e shirts that I held onto…they are suddenly just way too snug on my arms. I know I didn’t grow;  hell – I think I’m actually starting to shrink at this point! Ok – maybe I’m exaggerating on that point. (It’s just that my kids are no longer toddlers looking up at me, they are teens and twenty-somethings looking at the top of my head). I don’t know what it is. Nobody ever  prepares a woman for these changes. Oh sure – they are all too quick to announce the obvious  hormonal changes that occur at what I like to call, this “delicate” time in our lives – but not the other, rather frightening changes….like the fact that your butt drops a couple of inches (no matter how in shape you are!). That”s right gals – your butt is what is slipping into the upper thigh portion of your skinny jeans….and your shirts are not  tighter because your upper arms are – it’s just that when you wave goodbye – a teeny potion of your lower upper arms are waving goodbye too. Now so far, my neck’s not too bad, a few lines here and there,  but seeing as most of my peers are wearing glasses now, I am not too worried (and young people think you’re old once you’re 35 anyway). I have been creaming my neck on the good advice of my dear late grandmother. She always told me that you could tell a woman’s age by her hands and her neck (very true by the way – check those tight Hollywood stars out sometime!). So ladies – take heed and break out the cream!

Oh, and Guys – don’t think for a moment that you are getting off easy. When your man puts on his old college sweatshirt, the reason it is short in the sleeves (“Honey did you wash this – because it seriously shrunk!”) is probably his belly…and they are just as susceptible to those “bat wings” as we ladies are – it’s  just less noticeable due to the fact that nature gave them bigger muscles which, by the way, we gals like to regularly work for them: “Honey – please lift/move this very heavy object….you know – the kitchen chair into the dining room – we’re having company for dinner.”

I’m not even going to get into the need for a larger shoe size (thank you pregnancy and babies) or the fact that I need not only my reading glasses but sometimes a magnifying glass too (thank you  computer age for printing everything in micro-size) or the fact that everything kind of hurts, head to toe when I first get up in the morning. I’m healthy and well, I’m alive, I’ve survived and I – am – beautiful! ….Now, pass the cream.